Can I survive Spring?

Yuck! is right!

Manitoba is cold and wet right now. For mid April we are still waking up to minus temperatures and daytime highs are not in the double digits often. Then we have Spring run off which - yes - could be worse but when you have two inside dogs and two inside male children (I guess you can't have outside male children... although I'm tempted! *~*) it can't be much worse - dirt wise. So let's look at the senario, boy leaves the house wearing rubber boots and clothing. Boy is later seen running around inside the house in his underwear - there are mud caked boots up to the hilt, on the deck and splatters of mud near the laundry hamper just inside the laundry room door which is just beside the mudroom (aptly named). After my tirade about, "Who's cleaning those boots off, mister? It isn't going to be me.",  I enter the laundry room  to investigate the mud there. (Note: I should have been an undercover cop, or detective or something because I am quite good at ferreting out evidence). In the hamper I discover a sodden pair of jeans - mud encrusted from bum to cuffs - along with a sweatshirt that is also mud caked on the sleeves from elbows to cuffs. I quickly deduced that my eight year old son had fallen in the mud and was trying to "hide" the evidence (like the situation will improve for him when I find this mess on laundry day?!). Thus started tirade #2!

We live in the country and although we have cats and dogs we do not have livestock, or a barn, so where does all the grass, mud and straw materialize from that gets dragged in? Do they have a secret stash somewhere? I have stopped putting the vacuum away because it needs doing twice a day.
Now, take the dogs...  I can't let them out loose or they go straight for the mud - without rubber boots! Neither are leash trained well. I'm working on the Brad Patterson method of umbilical training by wrapping a 6 foot leash around my waist and attaching a rowdy, two year old Retriever or a lunging 9 month old German Shepherd to the other end and bravely attempting to "walk" them. Hmmm.... got a mental picture of that yet?  If I'm one-on-one with them it isn't too bad but if my husband and I try this together!?.... I'm amazed whichever vital organs are between my rib cage and pelvis are still functioning! How much abuse and punishment is the human body to endure in the name of "responsible dog ownership". The dogs never power out, their tongues just get longer. I don't know how Cesar Milan does it. Maybe I need to try a cheap nylon rope like he uses, maybe the magic is in that. With my luck I'll just get severe rope burn and dislocated shoulders. Our three cats follow us on these "walks". I think they're laughing at me but I can't be sure.